this is personal and probably offensive so don’t read if you can’t handle my almost too honest post
i am so stressed out, i have never been this stressed in my life
and i am heartbroken
i have never skipped a period and they are always horrible and i throw up and i haven’t had one since christmas because that is when all this stress started
my boyfriend is going to afghanistan in two weeks. they don’t expect everyone to come back
it’s actually kandahar, specifically. which is the #2 place in the world you shouldn’t go in 2012 according to aol news. #1 being somalia so i feel so sick
my fate with school is in the hands of an admissions board who doesn’t know me or how much i love dance
my fucking foot can barely be walked on and my audition is this weekend for the school i actually want to go to
i don’t fucking care if you like me, ANY ONE OF YOU i really don’t care
all i want to do is get married, i’m not too young shut the FUCK UP i know what i’m talking about and who are you to judge me or my relationship anyways?
i have like a handful of people i like but i don’t even want to talk to any of them because i’m so damn sad and i know i will bring down anyone i come in contact with
seriously wish people would stop telling me it’s okay, because i am obviously NOT OKAY NOT OKAY NOT OKAY and unless you are bringing davey to my house right this second then just leave me alone
i hate school
and i really hate long distance relationships and guess what YOU DON’T GET IT i don’t care anymore if i offend you so fuck off. are you worrying about your significant other because he’s the grenadier and minesweeper? are you worrying because he will be the one making sure no one gets blown up by IEDs? probably not. you’re probably not worried about that so i am sooooo sorry that your relationship is harder than most because you don’t see your boyfriend or girlfriend every day but ask anyone that knows anything about kandahar and you’ll find out that there’s a chance i could never see my boyfriend again
i can’t even barely see because my eyes are so fucking swollen from crying all over my boyfriend last night while he was trying to kiss me goodbye
i can’t sleep and i feel like i can’t breathe or i’m going to throw up half the time and the other half i spend trying to not do one of those two things
i am so fucking miserable and no one gets it and that’s fine i really don’t care
the only person who knows my heart and how i feel about this is the only person that i can’t be with
i just want to be happy
